When you’re a teenager everyone makes it seem like if you have unprotected sex, even once, you’ll get pregnant.
I mean, I get it. For some people that does happen. And we don’t want to normalize the whole teen mom thing like they tried to do on that dumb (yet addictive) MTV show.
The older I get, the more it comes to my attention that THEY LIED!
(If you’re not old enough to be a mom, they didn’t lie, and it’s all true. Also, why are you reading a blog written by a woman in her 30s trying to have babies?)
Infertility Is Real
Everyone’s situation is different.
Someone might have a one-night stand and get knocked up. That mistake might end up being the best thing that ever happened to them.
Not unlike my parents. (Sorry, mom & dad. But also, you’re welcome!)
Someone else might decide they’re ready to start a family with their partner and get pregnant as soon as they stop birth control.
And then there are people like me. Who don’t just struggle to get pregnant, but also to stay pregnant.
I used to think Jason and I would be able to get pregnant and have a baby within a year of trying.
Boy was I wrong! 🥲
The thing about infertility is that nobody warns you about it.
Thanks For the Heads Up, World!
Do you know how many couples struggle to get pregnant and start a family these days?
A shit ton! Google it.
I’m not gonna do a deep dive into the actual numbers and statistics because this isn’t a research paper.
What I will say is that if we hadn’t been through this crazy journey, I would be just as oblivious to infertility as the next person who doesn’t know the struggle.
I understand why the topic isn’t widely discussed (it can be really hard to talk about), but it should be.
Staying Strong
The thing about infertility is that those who haven’t experienced it don’t understand the grief that goes with it.
Those who have suffered loss aren’t the only ones who grieve.
When you go month after month trying to get pregnant and can’t, all that pressure takes a huge toll on your mental health.
Every time a pregnancy test comes up negative, it’s another month of crushed dreams and a broken heart.
That’s why I’m convinced we are the strongest people around. We have to go on with our lives as if we aren’t dying a little bit inside each month.
We find the strength to show up to work (and life in general) every day. Many of us don’t even share what we’re dealing with, so we just carry that around as if it doesn’t weigh on us.
None of This Is Your Fault
I know what it feels like to blame yourself for what you’re going through.
Don’t.
You may be thinking…
“I’m a WOMAN. Why isn’t my body doing what it’s MEANT for?? Am I broken??”
“Maybe I drank too much alcohol when I was younger. Dang it! Why did I do that to myself?”
“All that birth control I took fucked with my hormones. I should’ve known better!”
You might be in the thick of it right now, but just know that wherever this crazy journey takes you, it’s where you’re meant to be.
It may not feel like it right now (trust me, I still have my doubts), but everything happens for a reason.
I’ve always been a firm believer in that saying. But during our losses, I couldn’t help but ask, “Why us?”
This life may not be fair and it took me a long time (and I mean a long time) to accept our fate, but it isn’t over.
I still have my fears, and recently, I’ve been feeling down about this whole process all over again. But I remind myself of all the good I have going for me.
I’ve Said It Before and I’ll Say It Again…
None of us are alone on this dreadful journey.
I’ve had my best friend and love of my life, Jason, right alongside me and I’m lucky enough to say that this journey has only made our relationship stronger.
Not all couples who go through all of this craziness can say the same thing. It is challenging and it is not for the weak.
Regardless of all that, I can say, without a doubt in my mind, this community has your back.
It’s no lie when they say this is one of the worst clubs, but it has the best members.
Even if you don’t have the strength to put your story out there, I recommend making a friend or two who can relate to what you’re going through.
Having someone who knows the struggle firsthand is essential. There’s nothing like talking to someone who knows what it feels like and will say just the right things.
I’m not just sharing my story to spread awareness, even though that is a big part of it. I’m also sharing so that you know if you need someone to vent to, I’ll be here to listen.
Don’t Hesitate to Reach Out
Seriously, if you don’t know anyone else who is on this journey, and I’m the first that comes to mind, reach out to me.
The last thing I want is for someone to feel like they don’t have anyone to go to.
I’ll listen if you need someone to listen. I’ll talk if you need someone to talk you through the hard times. I’ll never push you to share anything you don’t want to, but I’ll be here when you’re ready. So send me an email at veesjourney94@gmail.com or DM me on Instagram @Vees.Journey.
And as always, I’ll keep reminding you…
You’re a baddie, and I love you!